Journal Entry #4

We lie awake at night discussing you. 

I see you inside of him. That's what I always tell him but he never believes me. 

The growth that you ask for, we struggle with. 

Still chained to the bottom mindset.

Still chasing paper dreams

Still trying to reach the lowest exchange of energy.

We both cry out for you.

We both know that this life we live isn't true.

It's false, not real, make believe, some horrible reality planted in our minds from the narrative of a white man.

Our truth resides in you.

Our love is abundant when we follow you.

Our prayers are answered and our cups run over with blessings.

But.

It's still hard for me to love him like I love you. We lie awake at night discussing you. 

I see you inside of him. That's what I always tell him but he never believes me. 

The growth that you ask for, we struggle with. 

Still chained to the bottom mindset.

Still chasing paper dreams

Still trying to reach the lowest exchange of energy.

We both cry out for you.

We both know that this life we live isn't true.

It's false, not real, make believe, some horrible reality planted in our minds from the narrative of a white man.

Our truth resides in you.

Our love is abundant when we follow you.

Our prayers are answered and our cups run over with blessings.

But.

It's still hard for me to love him like I love you.