The known vs the unknown

 

Rushed preparation and rushed time spent

Lingering moments of what used to be 

You stand, staring down of what won’t be anymore

Your mind replays the events that lead up to this 

Your mind replays the conversations that were spoken 

Your thoughts create situations you wished happened 

There’s a sting that sits on top of your heart controlled by the closure of your eye lids

Slowed preparation and very little time spent

Few calls, and many texts

“Busy bee, busy bee, can’t make time to spend with me” I say as I sit and ponder and cry in pain alone. 

“It’s just too much to do, it’s just too much to do” you say “I can’t come see, no, not today”.

“Well, one day, I won’t be home and this chair will be sitting here all alone, you’ll cry for me and I won’t be here to dry your tears. I won’t be here to calm you out of your fears. I do love you much and I would love our last conversation to be extended but I know it’ll be brief. 

Preparation complete and time is infinite

Yet you still stand there astonished, in disbelief, sweating in a fever dream

You had no idea it would feel like this

In between, do I cry, do I anger, do I feel hopeless, am I resentful, am I, what am I?

Preparation didn’t prepare you for this.