Still in control

Silly me, they say I laugh too much. 

True indeed, to keep from frowning but I can see how it bothers them.

They need to feel they're in control of me.

I try to stand but they sit me down with restraints. 

My face still smiling, my eyes are now burning, wide open, no blinking.

My head tilts left, they tilt it right. 

I slouch in my seat, they sit me straight up, a punch lands to my gut. 

I'm still smiling though, screwed up in the head so I start to show teeth.

They all stand back, afraid of my grin.

"Oh come on, lay one on my chinny chin chin"

I wish the circus music was louder and they would let me dance.

Parade like a clown and put them all in a trance "It's a far out mystery and I'm your magician, follow me"

I can be the greatest puppet for a master who has little skill.

A bag is placed over my head, they can't take the sight.

This is starting to get fun. I hear them all whisper in fear, they no longer want me here.

But it's too late for that.

The images of my favorite tree are burnt into my memory. It gives me comfort. 

White petals, long strong brown branches, graceful with the wind.

Beautiful, it'll take and give you your last breath. 

I can see myself standing under it and letting the leaves brush against my face.

I'm home there. I am safe there. No one can harm me there. I'm allowed to smile there. 

The bag is removed from my head.

I frighten them even more. They start to scatter and panic, they're screaming, they need to calm down.

But here's my face, titled back left, eye lids non existent, running over with tears of joy, my smile as wide as a trunk of a tree, every single one of my teeth showing.

They can't take it. So they land one last blow to the back of my head.

I slump over to the ground, still smiling but now I'm exactly where I want to be, with my favorite white tree.